sob.. cry... been a long time since i updated my blog..and now that i am... i am in such a miserable mood... if life was a like a mountain.. then it explains the saying of mid-life crisis.. afterall.. if one never reaches the peak.. then would it be unfair? but then again.. everyone just want to reach greater heights to happiness and success right? is it wrong to have so much desire... that our wants are such the likes of a black hole that sees no ends to it all? is it bad to be such a greedy lot that can never be satasfied with their lot? haha.. but we question everything don't we..yet are we prepared to face the truth of our doubts? do we really want an answer to all our questions? it has been a long time since we assume that the black hole just sucks everything in its way.. full stop. thats what WE assume... BUT there is a theory now that may just change the very root of what we know.. wonder how those studying physics would react at the attack in the very basic rule of the study itself..personally i admit to being no pro in the studies.. a recent programme explains this concept ( is it the law of quantum???) anyhow it says that in every particle there is an information to it.. so say when a building pulverized.. by collecting the debris of particles.. one can very well get the building to the very way it was before.. that things do not dissappear by themselves.. however, a guy ( whom i forgot his great name) came up with this formula that says that the black hole while no doubt sucks everything.. one day.. it will come when the black hole itself dissappears.. and when it does... so will all that was sucked in whether it is the can of coke left in space ( er.. don't know how it'll ever end up there.. but then there's another thing i heard.. which should be a story left for next time?) or a piece a rock in space...so far so good.. in calculation and theory he is not wrong.. Still it is not enough for scientists to recgnize this theory.. (seems to have stir up quite a wave) imagine if they did! by uprooting the very foundation where other theories built on.. the recognition that things will eventually dissappear by itself would lead to question and doubt on how much does these "experts" know then.. do they then even hold to say that they have "profound" knowledge in what is now a rediscovery channel topic? afterall whats a tree without its roots? probably a piece of log? but to call it a tree???? hm... oh no.. seems like i have been sidetracking... sigh... its nice to learn new things each day.. makes one a different person from yesterday... afterall.. if an extra day of resource have no impact on anyone or anything then it would be an unhealthy blockage to the cycle of life.. wouldn't it? hail the young hero.. the next star... everyone sees the wonder of the success inadvertently.. they forget those who mark the winners... in having winners there would always be losers.. but who are they to hold a place in anyone's heart... this is reality.. this is fact.. a brutally cold hard fact... but who can deny it.. everyone is guilty but can we blame them? no.. and why..simply because the world has too many people in it and we can't expect everyone to be on the news everyday... its too much and too unrealistic.. a good piece of news is one that filters and highlights the key points of the day.. we all WANT and DESIRE to be WINNERS... winners and no less than that.. naturally we only read of winners so WE can be one as well.. who is going to care about the losers.. sure.. there is going to be a lesson to be learnt.. but why spend time on a failed attempt when there is a choice for otherwise... thats why there is fear.. the fear that mountain is not going to be the high.. afterall.. the dissappointment of being just a little hill.. not the still young and growing mt everest.. where its peak is still peaking since the whole mt is still growing.. sob.. i am breaking down.. if only... i hope there is more in height for me.. feel like i am in the pits now.. ok probably not the worst possible but.. enough to make me sad... the glory and accolades in good grades.. whats wrong with me.. as a student.. the only thing i do.. yet.. my grades..cry.. is my language breaking down? wallow in self pity.. thats not a mark of a winner.. lord be there for me.. i am lost.. probably incoherent now.. argh... there must be way out.. save if i can bear with it... writing clears the mind.. yet it feels too light headed.. like i've empty what little in there.. this is scary.. i want to be a winner too...

Labels: no sacrifice, no victory